Hell General


To understand my interest of this idea/curse, you have to understand the origin of my hatred. When I was little, around the age of 10, I would instinctively flock to the streets at the very sound of the wonderful chime of the Ice Cream Man. All through the summer I would do this with money in hand, every time wondering what breathtaking treats I could indulge in; until one day.

It was like any other day; I was in my back yard getting in a few laps around my wading pool when I heard him, the Ding Ding man. I sprang up and hurtled through the 2 feet of water, rushing furiously to the front yard to flag him down (forgetting of course that money was needed).

With eyes wide, I made my request. Only now have I realized that I did not have any money in my ninja turtle trunks to accommodate him. I made myself clear that I would return with the necessary funds. Looking back now, I suspect he didn't care.

In my hasten return, I found by the time I reached my front porch, he had already began to leave. I screamed and wailed for him to stop, pounding hard on the windows in our porch. I pounded so hard I eventually broke through the glass, cutting my wrist.

Realizing what I had done, I stood there trembling as the ice cream man just kept driving away. I sat in my kitchen cleaning myself up, trying to keep my composure.

I realized one thing at that moment; the Ice Cream Man was one sick mother fucker.

Throughout the years following this incident, I have had other experiences with similar individuals who are in some way related to childish figures. Figures such as magicians, spirit leaders, clowns, barber shop quartets, and people dressed in animal/reptile/weird fucking beast costumes that appear to be high spirited and full of joy but are actually dark soldiers of the underworld.